We are excited to introduce two guests onto the podcast. Brian Jackson and Carrie Carter will be joining us for the next few podcasts and we are happy to have them. Brian is the Vice Principal at West Ridge and Carrie is a therapist who specializes in addiction recovery.
In our last podcast we talked about the prevalence of drug use by teens. Today we want to give parents information that can help them recognize if there child has a drug problem. The first podcast in this series, with Brian and Carrie, will give a few general signs that you can look for. In the next podcast we will talk about specific signs of a problem in different areas of your child’s life.
One of the biggest challenges that parents face is the disbelief that their kid could be the one involved. Brian and Carrie each share stories that will help parents understand that they are not alone in hoping that family members are not involved in these behaviors.
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In this podcast Jeff gives you the last of the 3 golden questions that can help the accountability process work.
Jeff gives you some ideas on what to do when your kids challenge the accountability process and gives good advice on how to handle giving consequences when teens are not accountable.
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In this, the second podcast on the parenting task of accountability, Jeff and Mat discuss when and how the task of accountability needs to be implimented.
Jeff points out why taking accountability can be so hard for kids (and for adults too). As a parent it is important to know what your child is feeling when they being held accountable.
Mat and Jeff also go talk about 2 of the golden questions that you can ask your teen that will help the accountability process.
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In this episode of the Hope and Healing Podcast, Jeff and Mat continue their discussion about structure, order, and boundaries. Jeff sets out 3 tools that can be used by parents to effectively create order in the lives of their children. These tools are:
Jeff also shares some real world stories about parenting that his wife observed at a shoe store!
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Jeff puts Mat on the spot in a role play as he reveals the biggest secret to connecting with your child.
The secret is revealed 10 minutes and 13 seconds into the podcast. Then the discussion moves to the importance of belonging and feeling needed within the family.
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Jeff and Mat discuss these important tools of connection:
Jeff and Mat also discuss The 5 connects.
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In our last podcast Jeff talked about a blog post that would be forthcoming that would focus on teens and technology. This is that blog post!
There is no question that the use of technology is on the rise in our culture. More and more people are connecting to the internet at higher speeds. Cell phones have become a necessity in our fast paced world. Ipods, Nintendo DSs, and PSP’s can keep us entertained anywhere we go. How is this increase in the use of technology affecting our families, especially the teenagers in our families?
Teens are wired. They have what seemingly unlimited options when it comes to technology they can use to stay connected and entertain themselves. 87% of teens surveyed say that they are online, with more and more saying they have high speed connections. Of the 300 million people that use facebook, 9% of them are teens. Research cited in July 2008 stated that 83% of teens own a cell phone and the average teen generated 50 to 70 text messages per day. Cyber-communication is definitely being utilized by teens to maintain relationships. There are positives and negatives that come along with using technology to communicate.
New technology presents many benefits, both for teens and their parents. Having a cell phone on them makes contacting parents much easier. Whether they need a ride or are checking in throughout the evening, cell phones makes this type of communication simple. It is also easier for parents to contact their teen, especially through text messaging. Many cell phone companies now offer GPS services that allow parents to know the physical location of their children. Social Networking sites such as Facebook and Myspace allow teens to keep connecting with friends through chat features. There is also tons of good information on sites such as YouTube. One of the greatest benefits to teens is that they can exhibit their creativity by becoming content creators through blogs and online video.
There are challenges that come form overuse/misuse of these technologies. One of the biggest problems is that teens can become isolated from friends and parents. As teens spend more and more time on the computer and on their cell phones, there is an appearance of connecting with people. However, connecting with people online is not the same as connecting in person. There is no eye contact. There is no opportunity for physical responses, such as smiling or appropriate touch. Body language and voice inflection is a huge part of communication and those elements are missed when using text messaging or chating to communicate.
Connecting with your teen is the first of the major tasks that we have been discussing in our podcasts and other blog entries. As a parent, it falls upon you to place boundaries on the use of technology for your teen. Agreements such as ‘no cell phones at the dinner table’ (my 6 year old son actually came up with that agreement at our house so he would have dad’s full attention) or ‘no cell phones on our camping tirp’ can give you time with your teen that is free of the distractions of technology. If you let it, technology can become a major barrier in your efforts to make genuine connection with your child. With appropriate boundaries on technology and using the technique Jeff talks about in the podcasts you can create a powerful, genuine connection with your teen.
Topics Covered in today’s podcast:
How technology can create barriers to connection
3 Barriers to connection with your kids
4 Tools you can use to fix connection problems with your children
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The first three podcasts have given you an overview of the four major tasks that parents must accomplish to give thier choldren the best possible chance for success in life. To review those tasks are: Connecting, Empowering, Structuring, and Accountability.
In this podcast Jeff and I begin to go into detail about how you accomplish those tasks. We start by talking about the importance of connecting with your children. Some of the things you will learn in this podcast are:
What it means to be “attuned” with your child.
Why correcting behavior is easier when you have a connection with your child.
Where connection with your child starts
What some of the barriers that get in the way of connecting with you kids are.
Thank you for listening to the podcast. If you have any questions for Mat or Jeff please comment on this blog post.
P.S. The book that I referred to in the podcast about the importance of eating meals together is called Too Much Of A Good Thing by Dan Kindlon. It is a phenomenal read. If you are interested you can get it here.
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